The Amazing Race: Assassin Style
by Victoria-BlackHeart
Summary: Summary inside. Rated for language and ridiculousness.
1. Prologue

_As we all know, in Assassin's Creed you have the option of collecting a bunch of flags, because who doesn't love collecting flags? Our favorite Assassins, that's who. And you know what else is fun? Competitions, because who doesn't love competitions? So imagine this: a flag collecting competition. That's right folks. Our favorite Assassins are once again thrown into a strange situation, which includes but is not limited to Malik's insults, buildings, the fury of a woman scorned, Desmond getting headaches, Ezio being Ezio, the infamous Kenway trio, and, of course, flags. So, ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seat belts for the Amazing Race: Assassin Style._

* * *

It had started out as a normal day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and it was the perfect day for Shaun Hastings to relax.

That was, until he walked into work this morning.

Then it all changed.

Shaun pushed open the door, his cup of English Breakfast tea in his hand and a stack of documents in the other. He was the only one up by the looks of things, but that didn't bother him. He could do what he pleased before the madness began.

However, the silence made him uneasy.

Something felt wrong.

Looking around, Shaun placed his papers down, and took a sip of his tea. He heard voices from upstairs, but ignored them. Shaun sat down at his desk, and flipped open the first document, and began reading.

SLAM!

Shaun jumped, spilling some of his tea on his hand. He groaned, and grabbed a napking, wiping it off, "I didn't know I worked with elephants," he mumbled, and went back to reading.

BAM!

Once again, Shaun spilled his tea, this time on the document. That made him mad. He slammed his hands down and stood up. He wanted to get to the bottom of that loud noise, and also wanted the person responsible to make him a new cup of tea.

Shaun walked up stairs, and knocked on the door where the noise was coming from. He heard someone shushing people, then the door opened a crack, "Uh, hi Shaun."

"Rebecca, what is that noise?" he asked. His coworker, Rebecca Crane, scratched the back of her head.

"Uh, nothing," she answered, and Shaun heard giggling behind her. Shaun raised an eyebrow, and crossed his arms.

"Rebecca," he said, glaring at her.

"Well, you see..." Rebecca opened the door, and Shaun's mouth dropped open, "The Animus kinda fritzed again."

"Oh dear god no."

Before him, crowded into the small room, was Desmond, surrounded by his ancestors. Desmond looked up at him, and smiled sheepishly.

"Hey Shaun."


	2. Shaun's Idea

"REBECCA!"

Everyone winced. Shaun rarely raised his voice, and he only did so when he was angry. And boy, was he angry.

"I'm sorry! The Animus is doing this a lot lately! I don't know why!" she exclaimed, "I'm trying to fix it!" Shaun groaned, and looked at Desmond.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, crossing his arms. Desmond looked at his ancestors, and shrugged.

"I honestly have no idea. I'm sure we can figure something out."

"Well, we need to keep them occupied so they don't cause us any trouble," Shaun pointed out, and by us, he meant himself. (Obviously)

"Well, what should we do?" Desmond asked, and Shaun looked around at the group.

"Give me a few hours," he answered, and left the room.

_A few hours later..._

Shaun sighed, and leaned back in his chair. He couldn't think of anything, so he decided to throw the TV on. He turned his attention to the screen, and began watching the show called "The Amazing Race". Shaun sat up straight, and smirked.

Oh, he had an idea alright.

An evil idea, it was.

They would hate him for this, but in the end, it would all be worth it.

* * *

_Sorry it's short! Next chapter will be longer as we get to hear Shaun's evil, evil idea._


	3. The Race Begins

Shaun smirked as he typed furiously on the computer, fingers flying over the keys. Everyone was asleep, so he could put his full proof plan into effect. They would never know what hit them the next morning when they woke up.

Oh yes, their reactions were going to be beautiful, and it would be worth it.

Shaun was looking forward to watching everything from afar, and he when said afar, he meant super afar. There was no way he was going to be near this madness when it erupted.

_The next morning..._

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Desmond groaned, and rolled over in his bed. He blinked a few times, and reached to grab his hidden blade. Except...he couldn't find it. Desmond sat up, and began feeling around for it, throwing his sheets off his bed and checking underneath his bed. He scratched his head, frowning, "Lucy have you seen my hidden blade?" he called, walking out into the hallway.

"Desmond! I can't find my hidden blade!" he heard Ezio whine.

"Me either!" It was Connor, "And my tomahawk is gone!"

Desmond wandered into the living room, and Lucy, Rebecca and Shaun were missing. He frowned, and sat down. There was a note on the table. Desmond picked it up, and began reading it.

**As you may have noticed, some of your weapons are gone.**

"NOVICE! Where are my throwing knives?!" Altaïr was awake now.

**I have taken them all, and placed them strategically throughout the city next to flags that each have a clue to where the next piece of weaponry is. **

"That son of a..." Desmond muttered, but kept reading.

**You must divide into teams, and find them. Good luck!**

**Shaun**

"That son of a bitch!" Desmond yelled, and got up, storming into the spare room. His ancestors (plus Malik and Leonardo) were bickering with each other about who took their weapons. Desmond cleared his throat, but they couldn't hear him. He tried again, but they were being too loud. He sighed, then proceeded to whistle. They all froze, and turned to look at him, "Alright, so, apparently Shaun thought it would be a funny idea to take all our of weapons and hide them," he said, "I have a note, explaining it all."

"WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?!" Ezio yelled.

"Because Shaun is a dick," Desmond answered, "Anyways, what we need to do is..."

"Kill him?" Altaïr asked, and Malik smacked him on the back of the head.

"No. In the note it says..."

"We need to catch him and tear his limbs off," Haytham interjected, "Make him pay for taking our weapons."

"No, guys, if you would just..."

"_Si, si_, I agree with my friend Haytham," Ezio said, placing an arm around Haytham's shoulders. Haytham tried to shrug them off but Ezio had a good grip on them.

"GUYS!" Desmond yelled, making them jump, "The instructions are in this damn note if you would just let me talk!" Everyone fell silent, "Thank you. Now, he said he has hidden them throughout the city, and we must split into teams to find them. He said that he has hidden them by flags, and we..."

"Wait...flags?" Altaïr interrupted, "By...flags?" he asked, and Desmond nodded. Altaïr shuddered.

"Yeah...anyways...We need to split into teams. There will be a clue next to the flag that will indicate where the next one is, and so on and so on. So," Desmond looked around, trying to figure out how to divide the teams. He knew for badness he had to put Altaïr and Malik together, and stick all the Kenways together, which would leave Leonardo and Ezio together, but then where would he go?

Desmond began to weigh the options. Would he rather be called a novice the whole time, or listen to Ezio call out to women? Would he rather listen to Malik and Altaïr fight like a married couple (they seriously should be together or something) or listen to Leonardo complain about the architecture?

Desmond sighed. He had to make a decision, and quick.

"Alright. The teams are Haytham, Connor and Edward, Ezio and Leonardo, and me, Altaïr and Malik," he said, "No complaining. I want my weapons back just as badly as the rest of you, so we need to wo..."

"GO!" Ezio shouted, and he grabbed Leonardo by the wrist, pulling him out of the building.

"I...I guess we're starting."

* * *

_AND THE MADNESS BEGINS! The race is on! Who will get all their weapons first? Will they be able to survive working together? Will Haytham and Connor bicker all the time? How many times will Malik use the word novice? Will Desmond regret his decision? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!  
_

_Until next time!_

_Peace!_


End file.
